Thursday, May 12, 2011

Does size really matter?

I'm not a tiny girl. No, I'm not fat, but I'm 5'10" and I've definitely got some fierce curves. I cannot be
 with someone who is small -- it just doesn't make sense and it isn't gonna work.

However, a few weeks ago this guy contacted me on POF with a really cute message that said "I don't care if you're taller than me... and least our kids would be tall." A guy's gotta be pretty comfortable with himself to say something like that! He can't be that short, I thought to myself. I opened his profile and was horrified: yes, he was THAT short, at a whopping 5 feet 6 inches.

I ended up going out with the guy because eh, what the hell. We have a lot in common, he's definitely a cutie, but I just can't get over the height thing! Call me crazy or insecure but I cannot see myself with this kid purely because of that.

Yes, size matters to me. Well... at least height does.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Older men


One of the biggest struggles now that I'm in the "real world" of dating is deciding the age range in which I'm comfortable dating. Sure, there are pros and cons of dating both older and younger men, but I'm still kinda figuring it all out. One thing is for certain: old guys love the youngin's in online dating.

For example, this guy messaged me a few weeks ago with the usual "Hi, how are you, let's meet up" and I thought to myself, "Yah know what, I'm sick of being hit on by guys around my dad's age." So, I straight up asked him: why do men want to date younger women? And this was his reply:

Men are more visually stimulated. You are clearly probably too young for me, but you did pose the interesting combination of being tall and I'm tall and were attractive. But men look at women like art, and the perfection that is youth is not debatable. Additionally, when I look at women my own age I tend to feel they have a lot of issues to begin with. They come at you with a lot of pre-ordained notions and will immediately lay down numerous ground rules and they aren't changing. In many cases its almost like prejudice in the literal sense of the word. Meeting a younger woman you think they are a blank slate they are not going to be difficult and have issues. They are going to be up for fun and seeing what happens, they are going to be spontaneous. Sadly Older people are set in their ways, I bet even your Dad is.

Sadly for me, I am very young at heart and have that spontaneous attitude but at my age, people my age that is, don't like that.

So that is it, men look at women see beautiful art works and say, that comes with no issues or baggage and she is amazing too look at, etc. If I were this age and married I would not leave my wife for a younger woman but since I have not married I don't feel bad asking out a younger woman. That said, I completely understand it from your end as well.
Really interesting stuff here. I get that all men want to be with beautiful women, but where is the boundary between appropriately aged beauty and this concept of unending youth? Women have enough pressure put on them by society, and each other for that matter, to be beautiful 24/7, and men are adding to it.

He's also assuming that younger women don't come with emotional baggage or their own issues. HE IS CRAZY. Most women my age don't know what the hell they want and are whiny, needy, and downright bitchy. Some may be carefree, as he suggests, but I think he's giving us a little too much credit.

Did his response persuade me to go out with him? No. But it did give me a little bit more understanding as to the inner workings of an old fart's mind.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

And the oscar goes to...

One word: actors.

I suppose that should have been a red flag right off the bat, but it seems my perception skills have been lacking as of late. It didn't even occur to me that this guy, who I met on POF, would put get to practice his career path in his real-life dating.

So I went out with this charming guy for a lunch date at a Thai restaurant. He was tall, very slender, perfectly coiffed hair. We had a great time! Conversation flowed, he was interesting. At the end of the date he gave me a hug, kissed me on the cheek, and even asked what I was doing later on that night. We parted ways and I felt rather confident about a second date.

The next day, Sunday, he texted me asking me if I wanted to go out on Wednesday. Great! Of course!

So Monday rolls by. Nothing on Tuesday. Not a word even on Wednesday morning. At this point, I'm pissed. And, dammit, I'm not contacting him. I watched the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" -- if a guy wants to see you, he will make it happen. He never contacted me and I refused to contact him.

Suffice it to say we never had our second date and this guy is certainly on the fast track to an academy award.