Every now and again my ex pops back into my life and brings me right back to square one. I've been doing so well trying to move on from him but last night set me back -- again.
I know he was only trying to be nice but he texted me his condolences for a death in my family. I responded "thanks" and he texted me again after that, to which I didn't reply. He called me hun. He said everything I would want him to say. And that's the problem -- he just says these things and I don't think he really means them. Obviously he was trying to be nice by reaching out but he doesn't get to do that anymore. He doesn't get to be my rock. He doesn't get to be the person I go to for comfort anymore. And that's exactly the person he was trying to be last night. It was all too familiar and I missed that, missed him caring.
Every time he contacts me I go into a tailspin. I want to move on, but at the same time, I don't because I miss him and I want things to work out. Cutting him out of my life was working but then this happened.
I'd take a bad date over this anyday.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Can I stalk you?
Saturday night I went out with one of my best girl friends with every intent of having a great night and finding some hot guys. HA. I need to stop dreaming.
We went to a local hot-spot, got drinks, and starting chatting at our own table. About an hour or so later, a bachelor party entered the place and came over to where we were sitting. Upon first glance I realized they weren't that attractive, so I was immediately disappointed. Of course, the not-hot boys just HAD to come over and start conversation with us -- and of COURSE the guy who starts the talking is married. At least they bought us a round.
One guy took a particular liking to us and we all starting chatting. At one point he says, "Do either of you watch 'The Jersey Shore'?" I said yes and my friend replied no, and I asked him why. He said, "well, you [my friend] look like you don't and you [me] look like you do. So I ask, "what do you mean I look like I do?" and he responds, "you look predictable." Ouch. Really!? This kid really just called me out. I'm sorry I look predictable to you and you know absolutely NOTHING about me and I'm probably one of the most unpredictable girls you will ever meet. Whatever, screw him.
After this ordeal, we decided to go to another bar to try our luck again. Well, bad luck followed us. After getting drinks, we made our way toward a table and a guy stopped me by tapping my arm and saying "hey, you're beautiful." Original. Then he said to me, "can I stalk you?" Oh. My. Hell. Was he serious!? Did he really use that as a pickup line!? We left the bar pretty fast after that.
Not really sure why, but we decided to meet back up with the bachelor party at a club -- well, I guess we decided to because they got a VIP table and a bottle. Free booze works for me! We got there and they were pretty well wasted by this point. The married guy from earlier was grinding on various different girls. The "predictable" guy was dancing with my friend. And another one came up to me and tried to dance with me, I didn't want to, and he said, "fuck you, you're no fun."
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with guys!? You don't talk to women like that, period. You don't swear at them. You don't say rude things to them. And if you're married, you certainly don't go around dancing with any old random girl! This whole evening was such an epic fail.
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We went to a local hot-spot, got drinks, and starting chatting at our own table. About an hour or so later, a bachelor party entered the place and came over to where we were sitting. Upon first glance I realized they weren't that attractive, so I was immediately disappointed. Of course, the not-hot boys just HAD to come over and start conversation with us -- and of COURSE the guy who starts the talking is married. At least they bought us a round.
One guy took a particular liking to us and we all starting chatting. At one point he says, "Do either of you watch 'The Jersey Shore'?" I said yes and my friend replied no, and I asked him why. He said, "well, you [my friend] look like you don't and you [me] look like you do. So I ask, "what do you mean I look like I do?" and he responds, "you look predictable." Ouch. Really!? This kid really just called me out. I'm sorry I look predictable to you and you know absolutely NOTHING about me and I'm probably one of the most unpredictable girls you will ever meet. Whatever, screw him.
After this ordeal, we decided to go to another bar to try our luck again. Well, bad luck followed us. After getting drinks, we made our way toward a table and a guy stopped me by tapping my arm and saying "hey, you're beautiful." Original. Then he said to me, "can I stalk you?" Oh. My. Hell. Was he serious!? Did he really use that as a pickup line!? We left the bar pretty fast after that.
Not really sure why, but we decided to meet back up with the bachelor party at a club -- well, I guess we decided to because they got a VIP table and a bottle. Free booze works for me! We got there and they were pretty well wasted by this point. The married guy from earlier was grinding on various different girls. The "predictable" guy was dancing with my friend. And another one came up to me and tried to dance with me, I didn't want to, and he said, "fuck you, you're no fun."
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with guys!? You don't talk to women like that, period. You don't swear at them. You don't say rude things to them. And if you're married, you certainly don't go around dancing with any old random girl! This whole evening was such an epic fail.
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Friday, August 27, 2010
Got Milk?
I woke up to a message on pof.com this morning entitled "Do you like milk with ice?" Strange, but I appreciated the attempt at a little bit of humor and a departure from the ever ubiquitous "Hi." His profile turned out to be strikingly cocky, however. I'm not going to date someone who refers to themselves as "James Bond."
Another disappointment.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
What's up with the old guys!?
Yet another old guy creepin' on Pof.com.
He's 57. Looks homeless. His tagline says "Welcome all sexy ladies 18-57." In his message, all it says is his email address.
Thoroughly grossed out.
He's 57. Looks homeless. His tagline says "Welcome all sexy ladies 18-57." In his message, all it says is his email address.
Thoroughly grossed out.
Married...really?!
As I was checking my messages the other day on Pof.com I had a note from this guy...who is married! He asked me if I would be interested in dating a guy who is married and has 2 kids.
Now my initial reaction was to delete it, but then I had a second thought. Don't guys care about what they said in their wedding vows? Doesn't lasting love mean anything? What happened to commitment? I couldn't resist the opportunity to get on the soap box -- yah know, me and all my infinite wisdom of being 22 and alone. I told him no, I wasn't interested in dating someone who is married, and if he really feels that way about his life then he should leave his wife. To my surprise he wrote back, saying that he was perfectly happy in his marriage -- except for the fact that he and his wife never have sex and she's sleeping with 2 other men. Too much information. End of discussion.
I feel like this stuff only happens in movies and I'm shocked to be finding out that yup, this is real life. I liked my little bubble of a relationship, thank you very much. And all this kind of makes me disappointed in humanity in general: where have all the good guys gone?
Now my initial reaction was to delete it, but then I had a second thought. Don't guys care about what they said in their wedding vows? Doesn't lasting love mean anything? What happened to commitment? I couldn't resist the opportunity to get on the soap box -- yah know, me and all my infinite wisdom of being 22 and alone. I told him no, I wasn't interested in dating someone who is married, and if he really feels that way about his life then he should leave his wife. To my surprise he wrote back, saying that he was perfectly happy in his marriage -- except for the fact that he and his wife never have sex and she's sleeping with 2 other men. Too much information. End of discussion.
I feel like this stuff only happens in movies and I'm shocked to be finding out that yup, this is real life. I liked my little bubble of a relationship, thank you very much. And all this kind of makes me disappointed in humanity in general: where have all the good guys gone?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Plenty of Fish
I joined another free dating site called PlentyofFish.com. I'm really starting to doubt these free sites, but again, the wallet can't exactly afford the paid sites at the moment. I guess I'll have to sift through all the crazies to find someone half-way normal.
I've had a mix of messages in my inbox thus far: good ones from people who are doing things with their lives and not so good ones from 40 year olds asking if I'm interested in being a sugar baby. For clarification, I'm not.
I've had a mix of messages in my inbox thus far: good ones from people who are doing things with their lives and not so good ones from 40 year olds asking if I'm interested in being a sugar baby. For clarification, I'm not.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Somebody's got a case of the crazies
Found a real gem on OkCupid.
I started talking to this one guy, let's call him Joe, and we exchanged numbers. Texting ensued for the next week or so, but I definitely had my doubts from the get-go. We started fighting! How odd -- I hadn't even met the guy yet, knew very little about him, but we were fighting like we were in a relationship. Is it weird that I almost found this comforting? Brought me back to being in a relationship. He said things to me like "I don't know if you're my type or not" and then would text back almost instantly saying "I'm sorry I said that, you have my heart." Pretty heavy stuff! He would also text me things with slight sexual innuendos, which made me uncomfortable. Again, I hadn't even met him!!
We had plans to go out to coffee. Then the morning of, I received a text from him saying "I had a hard-on this morning thinking about you in a pair of short shorts." UMMMMMMMM.... REALLY!? Who says that!? Thoroughly creeped out I ignored him the rest of the day, canceled that evening. He then texted me no less than 5 times and called twice within 5 minutes, saying everything ranging from "I'm so sorry I never meant to make you uncomfortable" to "delete my number, you never took this seriously anyway." Crazy.
Suffice it to say we are no longer communicating.
I started talking to this one guy, let's call him Joe, and we exchanged numbers. Texting ensued for the next week or so, but I definitely had my doubts from the get-go. We started fighting! How odd -- I hadn't even met the guy yet, knew very little about him, but we were fighting like we were in a relationship. Is it weird that I almost found this comforting? Brought me back to being in a relationship. He said things to me like "I don't know if you're my type or not" and then would text back almost instantly saying "I'm sorry I said that, you have my heart." Pretty heavy stuff! He would also text me things with slight sexual innuendos, which made me uncomfortable. Again, I hadn't even met him!!
We had plans to go out to coffee. Then the morning of, I received a text from him saying "I had a hard-on this morning thinking about you in a pair of short shorts." UMMMMMMMM.... REALLY!? Who says that!? Thoroughly creeped out I ignored him the rest of the day, canceled that evening. He then texted me no less than 5 times and called twice within 5 minutes, saying everything ranging from "I'm so sorry I never meant to make you uncomfortable" to "delete my number, you never took this seriously anyway." Crazy.
Suffice it to say we are no longer communicating.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
First online dating experience: OkCupid
Because I'm terrified of the fact that I'm 22 and alone (how stupid, really) I decided that I must fill my men-void immediately. Since I live in a town where I practically know no one, except for my ex which doesn't exactly count, I decided to join an online dating site.
Instead of joining match.com or eHarmony I opted for Okcupid.com -- purely because it's free and I'm cheap. And I don't want to commit to a dating site just yet just in case I hate it.
I recieved a bunch of messages from a wide array of guys -- some attractive, some not so much.
This one guy and I start talking and he seems pretty legit from his profile. 30, smart, ambitious: perfect. We make a date to go to Starbucks. When date night finally rolls around I get a text from him telling me that he'll be 15 min late. Strike one. When he finally arrives and we go in, I order a chai tea latte and he gets...a water. Now I'm sorry but you asked me on a date to get coffee. I was annoyed. AND he didn't even offer to pay for my 3 dollar tea! If you really want to make an impression on a first date, the guy should at least offer to pay. And for the love of God it was 3 bucks. Strike two. When we sit down I realize this guy looks NOTHING like he did in his profile pictures (they were cute and in real life he just wasn't). And he stared at me awkwardly when he talked -- not like a casual gaze but a full on stare. Then I found out that he still lives at home and I died a little inside. Why do all guys still live at home!? Strike three. I could not get out of there fast enough.
He texted me the following day and few times that week and I didn't respond. To be honest, I didn't know how to let him down easily. At the end of the day rejection sucks and I didn't want to be mean. I thought he'd forget about me... but he didn't. Finally I send him a text that said "hey, you seem like a really nice guy but i just didn't feel a connection when we hung out. best of luck to you!" I thought that was a very nice way to say "I'm just not that into you." He didn't respond. Another one bites the dust.
Instead of joining match.com or eHarmony I opted for Okcupid.com -- purely because it's free and I'm cheap. And I don't want to commit to a dating site just yet just in case I hate it.
I recieved a bunch of messages from a wide array of guys -- some attractive, some not so much.
This one guy and I start talking and he seems pretty legit from his profile. 30, smart, ambitious: perfect. We make a date to go to Starbucks. When date night finally rolls around I get a text from him telling me that he'll be 15 min late. Strike one. When he finally arrives and we go in, I order a chai tea latte and he gets...a water. Now I'm sorry but you asked me on a date to get coffee. I was annoyed. AND he didn't even offer to pay for my 3 dollar tea! If you really want to make an impression on a first date, the guy should at least offer to pay. And for the love of God it was 3 bucks. Strike two. When we sit down I realize this guy looks NOTHING like he did in his profile pictures (they were cute and in real life he just wasn't). And he stared at me awkwardly when he talked -- not like a casual gaze but a full on stare. Then I found out that he still lives at home and I died a little inside. Why do all guys still live at home!? Strike three. I could not get out of there fast enough.
He texted me the following day and few times that week and I didn't respond. To be honest, I didn't know how to let him down easily. At the end of the day rejection sucks and I didn't want to be mean. I thought he'd forget about me... but he didn't. Finally I send him a text that said "hey, you seem like a really nice guy but i just didn't feel a connection when we hung out. best of luck to you!" I thought that was a very nice way to say "I'm just not that into you." He didn't respond. Another one bites the dust.
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