Letting go

Letting go of people can be the hardest thing in the world to do, but sometimes you have to let certain people go in order for your life to move forward. I am still very much in love with my ex but I know that I have to let him go.

Over the weekend and last night we spoke for the first time in months. For some reason I thought things would change; that he would miss me and everything could go back to the way it was. But that was not the case. Whatever the reason, he doesn't love me anymore and he isn't willing to try to get us back.

I have no choice but to move forward. It's so hard -- loving someone but making yourself stop. I'm not sure how exactly to stop loving him, because I've loved him for such a long time, but I have to figure out a way to try.  I guess I have to realize that I can't love someone who isn't going to love me back. It's not fair to me. I deserve someone who is going to realize what he has and truly appreciate me for who I am. I need someone who isn't going to give up when things get hard.

Life is a journey and, at this point in my life, I have to let him go.

No connection

I had been talking to a certain guy for about a month now and I had really high hopes for him. He is still in school and goes to a US military academy. Younger, I know, but definitely smart with great career potential! We met on POF -- beyond cute pictures, really nice, sweet guy. What could possibly go wrong with this!?

Well, this past weekend we went out on a date and went mini golfing and went to a winery that had a wine-tasting room. I had a really nice time but just didn't feel a connection. Sometimes people can be really sweet and wonderful but you don't connect, yah know? There just wasn't that chemistry there that I was so hoping would be.

I guess the lesson I've learned out of this one would be that people turn out to be very different in person than they are online.

Au revior, pink shirt guy

Well, let's add pink-shirt guy to the list of no-goes.

Remember how he had texted me a few days after our run-in at the bar? Well, I responded to his initial text saying, "hey it was great to meet you too" blah blah blah. No response. Weird. I wake up the next day with a text from him -- but not just any text, the EXACT SAME text that he had initially sent me! So strange. So I texted him something along the lines of "hey, did you not get the text I send you yesterday?" Again, no response. Then, in the afternoon, I got the text AGAIN.

The entire thing is a little too weird for me. I can't date a guy who can't work a text message. Au revior, pink shirt.

I heart guys in pink shirts

Friday was girls night... aka time to hunt.

Immediately upon entering the bar I saw the one I wanted: tall, cute, and the only guy wearing pink. More specifically, a hot pink t-shirt. Now, to most, this would scream "total douche-bag" or "I love the village people" but I'm not one to say no to pink. And I've historically been madly in love with every gay man I meet. But all this is besides the point...

I locked eyes with the target several times and moved in. I went down to the lower level of the bar and started dancing on my own and would glance his direction every once in awhile to let him know I was interested. He finally motioned to me to come over, which I did. We danced, we kissed. And apparently I gave him my number, because he texted me this morning.

Maybe I'll go out with him, not sure yet. Either way, it felt good to end my streak of horribly bad bar encounters.

Everything's bigger in Texas...except my love life

This past week I was in Texas for a trade-show and had very high hopes of setting the town ablaze. During my last business trip out to California, I met this great guy who showed me all the local hot-spots and wined & dined me. I guess I had grandeur dreams of this trip being similar. No such luck.

One would think that it would be easy as pie to get a date with the crowd I was rolling with. The girl to guy ratio at the show was probably 50 to 1. The majority of the guys at the show were married, but there was a decent showing of guys sans wedding ring. Not to brag, but normally during these shows I get asked out by at least one guy. And guys typically come up to my booth and talk to me.

This time around little to none of said events occurred. The show floor was less crowded than usual, but still! I mean a few guys would pass by and say hello or stop by for a quick chat, but nothing that would ever suggest them taking me out. Did I have "desperate" written on my face or something?

One guy did stop by and give me an invitation to a sponsored party later that night, which meant free booze and an opportunity to maybe meet someone. He wasn't half bad and definitely considered him a prospect. Either way I was going to go if for no other reason than to go sailing with the captain on someone else's dime.

Fast forward to the party: I didn't run into him until the end of the night and when I did, he said "hey, I'm going to play air hockey!" Ummm, you do that. And hanging out with my much older bosses the majority of the  night probably wasn't helping.

It's definitely safe to say that the most action I got in Texas was at the airport. I was felt up and searched by TSA because clearly I look like a terrorist.

Oh well, maybe next time.

The mistake that keeps on haunting me

So remember how I texted X by mistake? He's texted me several times since then. It's starting to creep me out. It started with "Hey, are you alive?" and this morning was "Can we talk?"

No, we can't talk. Which is exactly why I haven't responded to any of your texts. So please stop.

Amature mistake

I made a big mistake the other day, not only in the world of online dating, but in the world of dating in general -- I texted the wrong person!

I had met 2 guys online with the same name and saved one as "X" and the other as "X Lawyer" because, well, he's a lawyer. The first guy was a huge creep and I stopped talking to him awhile ago but never took his number out of my phone. Well, I went to text X Lawyer the other day and mistakeingly texted X saying "hey! how are you? long time no talk..." And when X responded I realized the mistake I had made. Shit. I didn't want too seem like I was genuinely interested, but I didn't want to be a total jerk either. So I just never responded.

And what have I learned? Delete the losers from your phone. Or don't get losers' numbers to begin with. Or just stay away from guys with the same name.

MeetingMillionaires.com

I joined a new dating website called MeetingMillionaires.com. Now, before you judge me for being a money-grubbing gold digger, let me explain.

Before I signed up for the site I checked it out a little bit and wanted to see if this was a gross old-guy-wants-twenty-something-whore kind of thing or something a little more legit. Well, turns out it's definitely legit. You can sign up as an attractive female, successful female or both (or male if you just so happen to be one). Then you choose what kind of guy you're looking for -- either an attractive male, successful male, or both. Since money is not the only reason I joined, I selected I'm interested in both. I like this site because not everyone's profile is approved -- it's selective. And I like the fact that you probably aren't going to find anyone on here who's working at McDonald's for a living.

So far I've gotten 3 messages from guys who are attractive AND have really good jobs! Success is sexy to me. I'm not talking about stricly monetary success here -- I think it's wonderful when a guy has goals and dreams and is driven to succeed.

I definitely have a better feeling about this site than OkCupid or POF. Stay tuned!

I don't care that you're Italian

What is it with some guys and their obsession with telling every person they ever come in contact with that they're Italian!?

I've seen this way too many times: guys bragging about being Italian. They love Italian food because, *gasp* guess what -- they're Italian. They have big, loud families but they love them. They love to cook -- you guessed it-- Italian. In online profiles they mention their Italian-ness over, and over, and over.

News flash: I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE ITALIAN. That's really great and all that you're proud of your heritage, but I don't need to hear about that right off the bat. You don't see me running around saying, "OMG I"m Polish!! I love keilbasa!!" And, quite honestly, it's a huge turn off for me when a guy is so proud to be Italian. To me it's anti-sexy.

All you over-the-top Italians out there: tone it down because honestly, the only person who cares is you.

Profile names

One of the most interesting parts of online dating has been seeing the profile names people choose. Do these people really wonder why they're still single?

For example, SexyTanBadBoy. All set actually. Not really interested in dating someone who is 34 years old and still refers to themselves as a "bad boy."