Blast from the past

As I returned from NYC yesterday, I settled into my seat on the train listening to music and dozing in an out of sleep. I was drawing near my stop so I looked up toward the door to get my bearings. And then I had a moment.

There was a guy standing near the door whose face I definitely recognized. I could not place him! I kept thinking, "I know this guy. Where do I know him from?" And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. A few months ago I had gone out with a friend and this guy was a friend of my friend. Awkward part: I KISSED HIM at the bar. Oh. My. Hell. Is this really happening? Am I starting to really see people out in public whom I've kissed? What a mess.

I got a good chuckle out of that one.

Zero personality

So last night I geared myself up for another date. We met online on Plenty of Fish a few weeks ago and he seemed nice enough. His pictures were definitely cute and he seemed normal... and these days, that's kinda big.

He planned to take me out to a semi-expensive seafood restauant in my town. I secretly thought "I hope I don't have to pay for this!"... is that bad? Well anyway, he texted me saying that he was going to be late because of some issue with his parking garage. Whatever. We were supposed to meet at 6 and didn't meet up until 7. I was definitely more than annoyed, especially because I dragged my ass out of bed at 4pm to get ready for this because I was beyond hungover. I could have had another hour of solid sleep...

So when we finally arrived at said restaurant, I was immediately disappointed: he looked nothing like his pictures!! Why does this keep happening!? UGGGGHHHHH. The entire dinner was completely lackluster. He had little to no personality, and, come to find out, he's only in the area because he's doing a co-op because he's still in SCHOOL! And to top it all off, he had a hick, southern accent.

He said he had a great time and hoped that we could hang out again and even texted me last night to reiterate how good of a time he had. I did not share his sentiment.

And yes, he did pay.

Letting go

Letting go of people can be the hardest thing in the world to do, but sometimes you have to let certain people go in order for your life to move forward. I am still very much in love with my ex but I know that I have to let him go.

Over the weekend and last night we spoke for the first time in months. For some reason I thought things would change; that he would miss me and everything could go back to the way it was. But that was not the case. Whatever the reason, he doesn't love me anymore and he isn't willing to try to get us back.

I have no choice but to move forward. It's so hard -- loving someone but making yourself stop. I'm not sure how exactly to stop loving him, because I've loved him for such a long time, but I have to figure out a way to try.  I guess I have to realize that I can't love someone who isn't going to love me back. It's not fair to me. I deserve someone who is going to realize what he has and truly appreciate me for who I am. I need someone who isn't going to give up when things get hard.

Life is a journey and, at this point in my life, I have to let him go.

No connection

I had been talking to a certain guy for about a month now and I had really high hopes for him. He is still in school and goes to a US military academy. Younger, I know, but definitely smart with great career potential! We met on POF -- beyond cute pictures, really nice, sweet guy. What could possibly go wrong with this!?

Well, this past weekend we went out on a date and went mini golfing and went to a winery that had a wine-tasting room. I had a really nice time but just didn't feel a connection. Sometimes people can be really sweet and wonderful but you don't connect, yah know? There just wasn't that chemistry there that I was so hoping would be.

I guess the lesson I've learned out of this one would be that people turn out to be very different in person than they are online.

Au revior, pink shirt guy

Well, let's add pink-shirt guy to the list of no-goes.

Remember how he had texted me a few days after our run-in at the bar? Well, I responded to his initial text saying, "hey it was great to meet you too" blah blah blah. No response. Weird. I wake up the next day with a text from him -- but not just any text, the EXACT SAME text that he had initially sent me! So strange. So I texted him something along the lines of "hey, did you not get the text I send you yesterday?" Again, no response. Then, in the afternoon, I got the text AGAIN.

The entire thing is a little too weird for me. I can't date a guy who can't work a text message. Au revior, pink shirt.

I heart guys in pink shirts

Friday was girls night... aka time to hunt.

Immediately upon entering the bar I saw the one I wanted: tall, cute, and the only guy wearing pink. More specifically, a hot pink t-shirt. Now, to most, this would scream "total douche-bag" or "I love the village people" but I'm not one to say no to pink. And I've historically been madly in love with every gay man I meet. But all this is besides the point...

I locked eyes with the target several times and moved in. I went down to the lower level of the bar and started dancing on my own and would glance his direction every once in awhile to let him know I was interested. He finally motioned to me to come over, which I did. We danced, we kissed. And apparently I gave him my number, because he texted me this morning.

Maybe I'll go out with him, not sure yet. Either way, it felt good to end my streak of horribly bad bar encounters.

Everything's bigger in Texas...except my love life

This past week I was in Texas for a trade-show and had very high hopes of setting the town ablaze. During my last business trip out to California, I met this great guy who showed me all the local hot-spots and wined & dined me. I guess I had grandeur dreams of this trip being similar. No such luck.

One would think that it would be easy as pie to get a date with the crowd I was rolling with. The girl to guy ratio at the show was probably 50 to 1. The majority of the guys at the show were married, but there was a decent showing of guys sans wedding ring. Not to brag, but normally during these shows I get asked out by at least one guy. And guys typically come up to my booth and talk to me.

This time around little to none of said events occurred. The show floor was less crowded than usual, but still! I mean a few guys would pass by and say hello or stop by for a quick chat, but nothing that would ever suggest them taking me out. Did I have "desperate" written on my face or something?

One guy did stop by and give me an invitation to a sponsored party later that night, which meant free booze and an opportunity to maybe meet someone. He wasn't half bad and definitely considered him a prospect. Either way I was going to go if for no other reason than to go sailing with the captain on someone else's dime.

Fast forward to the party: I didn't run into him until the end of the night and when I did, he said "hey, I'm going to play air hockey!" Ummm, you do that. And hanging out with my much older bosses the majority of the  night probably wasn't helping.

It's definitely safe to say that the most action I got in Texas was at the airport. I was felt up and searched by TSA because clearly I look like a terrorist.

Oh well, maybe next time.

The mistake that keeps on haunting me

So remember how I texted X by mistake? He's texted me several times since then. It's starting to creep me out. It started with "Hey, are you alive?" and this morning was "Can we talk?"

No, we can't talk. Which is exactly why I haven't responded to any of your texts. So please stop.

Amature mistake

I made a big mistake the other day, not only in the world of online dating, but in the world of dating in general -- I texted the wrong person!

I had met 2 guys online with the same name and saved one as "X" and the other as "X Lawyer" because, well, he's a lawyer. The first guy was a huge creep and I stopped talking to him awhile ago but never took his number out of my phone. Well, I went to text X Lawyer the other day and mistakeingly texted X saying "hey! how are you? long time no talk..." And when X responded I realized the mistake I had made. Shit. I didn't want too seem like I was genuinely interested, but I didn't want to be a total jerk either. So I just never responded.

And what have I learned? Delete the losers from your phone. Or don't get losers' numbers to begin with. Or just stay away from guys with the same name.

MeetingMillionaires.com

I joined a new dating website called MeetingMillionaires.com. Now, before you judge me for being a money-grubbing gold digger, let me explain.

Before I signed up for the site I checked it out a little bit and wanted to see if this was a gross old-guy-wants-twenty-something-whore kind of thing or something a little more legit. Well, turns out it's definitely legit. You can sign up as an attractive female, successful female or both (or male if you just so happen to be one). Then you choose what kind of guy you're looking for -- either an attractive male, successful male, or both. Since money is not the only reason I joined, I selected I'm interested in both. I like this site because not everyone's profile is approved -- it's selective. And I like the fact that you probably aren't going to find anyone on here who's working at McDonald's for a living.

So far I've gotten 3 messages from guys who are attractive AND have really good jobs! Success is sexy to me. I'm not talking about stricly monetary success here -- I think it's wonderful when a guy has goals and dreams and is driven to succeed.

I definitely have a better feeling about this site than OkCupid or POF. Stay tuned!

I don't care that you're Italian

What is it with some guys and their obsession with telling every person they ever come in contact with that they're Italian!?

I've seen this way too many times: guys bragging about being Italian. They love Italian food because, *gasp* guess what -- they're Italian. They have big, loud families but they love them. They love to cook -- you guessed it-- Italian. In online profiles they mention their Italian-ness over, and over, and over.

News flash: I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE ITALIAN. That's really great and all that you're proud of your heritage, but I don't need to hear about that right off the bat. You don't see me running around saying, "OMG I"m Polish!! I love keilbasa!!" And, quite honestly, it's a huge turn off for me when a guy is so proud to be Italian. To me it's anti-sexy.

All you over-the-top Italians out there: tone it down because honestly, the only person who cares is you.

Profile names

One of the most interesting parts of online dating has been seeing the profile names people choose. Do these people really wonder why they're still single?

For example, SexyTanBadBoy. All set actually. Not really interested in dating someone who is 34 years old and still refers to themselves as a "bad boy."

Set-back

Every now and again my ex pops back into my life and brings me right back to square one. I've been doing so well trying to move on from him but last night set me back -- again.

I know he was only trying to be nice but he texted me his condolences for a death in my family. I responded "thanks" and he texted me again after that, to which I didn't reply. He called me hun. He said everything I would want him to say. And that's the problem -- he just says these things and I don't think he really means them. Obviously he was trying to be nice by reaching out but he doesn't get to do that anymore. He doesn't get to be my rock. He doesn't get to be the person I go to for comfort anymore. And that's exactly the person he was trying to be last night. It was all too familiar and I missed that, missed him caring.

Every time he contacts me I go into a tailspin. I want to move on, but at the same time, I don't because I miss him and I want things to work out. Cutting him out of my life was working but then this happened.

I'd take a bad date over this anyday.

Can I stalk you?

Saturday night I went out with one of my best girl friends with every intent of having a great night and finding some hot guys. HA. I need to stop dreaming.

We went to a local hot-spot, got drinks, and starting chatting at our own table. About an hour or so later, a bachelor party entered the place and came over to where we were sitting. Upon first glance I realized they weren't that attractive, so I was immediately disappointed. Of course, the not-hot boys just HAD to come over and start conversation with us -- and of COURSE the guy who starts the talking is married. At least they bought us a round.

One guy took a particular liking to us and we all starting chatting. At one point he says, "Do either of you watch 'The Jersey Shore'?" I said yes and my friend replied no, and I asked him why. He said, "well, you [my friend] look like you don't and you [me] look like you do. So I ask, "what do you mean I look like I do?" and he responds, "you look predictable." Ouch. Really!? This kid really just called me out. I'm sorry I look predictable to you and you know absolutely NOTHING about me and I'm probably one of the most unpredictable girls you will ever meet. Whatever, screw him.

After this ordeal, we decided to go to another bar to try our luck again. Well, bad luck followed us. After getting drinks, we made our way toward a table and a guy stopped me by tapping my arm and saying "hey, you're beautiful." Original. Then he said to me, "can I stalk you?" Oh. My. Hell. Was he serious!? Did he really use that as a pickup line!? We left the bar pretty fast after that.

Not really sure why, but we decided to meet back up with the bachelor party at a club -- well, I guess we decided to because they got a VIP table and a bottle. Free booze works for me! We got there and they were pretty well wasted by this point. The married guy from earlier was grinding on various different girls. The "predictable" guy was dancing with my friend. And another one came up to me and tried to dance with me, I didn't want to, and he said, "fuck you, you're no fun."

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with guys!? You don't talk to women like that, period. You don't swear at them. You don't say rude things to them. And if you're married, you certainly don't go around dancing with any old random girl! This whole evening was such an epic fail.

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Got Milk?

I woke up to a message on pof.com this morning entitled "Do you like milk with ice?" Strange, but I appreciated the attempt at a little bit of humor and a departure from the ever ubiquitous "Hi." His profile turned out to be strikingly cocky, however. I'm not going to date someone who refers to themselves as "James Bond."

Another disappointment.

What's up with the old guys!?

Yet another old guy creepin' on Pof.com.

He's 57. Looks homeless. His tagline says "Welcome all sexy ladies 18-57." In his message, all it says is his email address.

Thoroughly grossed out.

Married...really?!

As I was checking my messages the other day on Pof.com I had a note from this guy...who is married! He asked me if I would be interested in dating a guy who is married and has 2 kids.

Now my initial reaction was to delete it, but then I had a second thought. Don't guys care about what they said in their wedding vows? Doesn't lasting love mean anything? What happened to commitment? I couldn't resist the opportunity to get on the soap box -- yah know, me and all my infinite wisdom of being 22 and alone. I told him no, I wasn't interested in dating someone who is married, and if he really feels that way about his life then he should leave his wife. To my surprise he wrote back, saying that he was perfectly happy in his marriage -- except for the fact that he and his wife never have sex and she's sleeping with 2 other men. Too much information. End of discussion.

I feel like this stuff only happens in movies and I'm shocked to be finding out that yup, this is real life. I liked my little bubble of a relationship, thank you very much. And all this kind of makes me disappointed in humanity in general: where have all the good guys gone?

Plenty of Fish

I joined another free dating site called PlentyofFish.com. I'm really starting to doubt these free sites, but again, the wallet can't exactly afford the paid sites at the moment. I guess I'll have to sift through all the crazies to find someone half-way normal.

I've had a mix of messages in my inbox thus far: good ones from people who are doing things with their lives and not so good ones from 40 year olds asking if I'm interested in being a sugar baby. For clarification, I'm not.

Somebody's got a case of the crazies

Found a real gem on OkCupid.

I started talking to this one guy, let's call him Joe, and we exchanged numbers. Texting ensued for the next week or so, but I definitely had my doubts from the get-go. We started fighting! How odd -- I hadn't even met the guy yet, knew very little about him, but we were fighting like we were in a relationship. Is it weird that I almost found this comforting? Brought me back to being in a relationship. He said things to me like "I don't know if you're my type or not" and then would text back almost instantly saying "I'm sorry I said that, you have my heart." Pretty heavy stuff! He would also text me things with slight sexual innuendos, which made me uncomfortable. Again, I hadn't even met him!!

We had plans to go out to coffee. Then the morning of, I received a text from him saying "I had a hard-on this morning thinking about you in a pair of short shorts." UMMMMMMMM.... REALLY!? Who says that!? Thoroughly creeped out I ignored him the rest of the day, canceled that evening. He then texted me no less than 5 times and called twice within 5 minutes, saying everything ranging from "I'm so sorry I never meant to make you uncomfortable" to "delete my number, you never took this seriously anyway." Crazy.

Suffice it to say we are no longer communicating.

First online dating experience: OkCupid

Because I'm terrified of the fact that I'm 22 and alone (how stupid, really) I decided that I must fill my men-void immediately. Since I live in a town where I practically know no one, except for my ex which doesn't exactly count, I decided to join an online dating site.

Instead of joining match.com or eHarmony I opted for Okcupid.com -- purely because it's free and I'm cheap. And I don't want to commit to a dating site just yet just in case I hate it.

I recieved a bunch of messages from a wide array of guys -- some attractive, some not so much.

This one guy and I start talking and he seems pretty legit from his profile. 30, smart, ambitious: perfect. We make a date to go to Starbucks. When date night finally rolls around I get a text from him telling me that he'll be 15 min late. Strike one. When he finally arrives and we go in, I order a chai tea latte and he gets...a water. Now I'm sorry but you asked me on a date to get coffee. I was annoyed. AND he didn't even offer to pay for my 3 dollar tea! If you really want to make an impression on a first date, the guy should at least offer to pay. And for the love of God it was 3 bucks. Strike two. When we sit down I realize this guy looks NOTHING like he did in his profile pictures (they were cute and in real life he just wasn't). And he stared at me awkwardly when he talked -- not like a casual gaze but a full on stare. Then I found out that he still lives at home and I died a little inside. Why do all guys still live at home!? Strike three. I could not get out of there fast enough.

He texted me the following day and few times that week and I didn't respond. To be honest, I didn't know how to let him down easily. At the end of the day rejection sucks and I didn't want to be mean. I thought he'd forget about me... but he didn't. Finally I send him a text that said "hey, you seem like a really nice guy but i just didn't feel a connection when we hung out. best of luck to you!" I thought that was a very nice way to say "I'm just not that into you." He didn't respond. Another one bites the dust.